Hello Summer!

The final blog update is a celebration of successfully arriving at the end of the school year.  As I listened to Dr. Barnes call out the names of our employees who had perfect attendance for the school year I couldn't help but think about how personal wellness is a part of that equation.  I hope you have a restful summer and take time to focus on all 6 Dimensions of Wellness~ 

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 5th Annual PPC Champion

Amy's Journey

I was 10.  It was a moonpie.  A luscious.  Chocolate.  Sweet.  Moonpie.

I was 12.  It was Lemonheads and Boston Baked Beans.

I was 20.  Home from college.  Mom’s lasagna.  Cheesy goodness that held on tight and would not let go for the next 22 years.

My weight has been an issue for me most of my life.  I remember the first time I couldn’t button my pants and my tummy bulged over the waistband of my khakis.  I was in the 4th grade.

I remember the first time a man showed interest in me, and it wasn’t because of my sparkling personality.  “I can’t believe I’m in a size 6,” I said.  “You’ll be a size 2 in no time,” he replied.  Two months later I was in fact a size 2.  I was 26.

My journey with my weight and wellness has been long and hard.   

But of course it has been.  Everyone’s journey with being overweight is like standing in the middle of the ocean--- water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink.  Impossible.

I was defeated.  I was discouraged.  I was done.  

In July of 2013, my best friend and I decided to start losing weight.  We would encourage each other reporting what we had eaten, good and bad.  Pushing each other to stand strong in the face of adversity- cheese dip, chocolate, pimento cheese, french fries-- just to name a few.  Nivada would help me come up with WODs (Workouts of the Day) that I could do on my off period.  I would walk against the flow of traffic after school.  I would use a kettle bell and the rowing machine.  All the while, Nivada gave up her time to encourage me, coach me, and laugh at me while I tried to do Burpees.

It was glorious.  I was eating well.  I was exercising, and I had a community of people around me to hold me accountable.  By the end of the school year (2013-2014), I had lost 20 lbs.  

But it was the end of the school year.  Routines changed.  Excuses became more readily available.  I needed to lose 20 more lbs to be healthy.  That didn’t happen.  Somehow I maintained the 20 lb weight loss over the summer despite caving into adversity and not exercising at all.  Then the school year (2014-2015) started back.  I attempted healthy choices and packing an exercise bag.  I laced up my shoes and ran once or twice.  But I wasn’t serious.  Nivada said, “You’re not mad enough yet.”  That got me.  That was part of it.  I also wasn’t willing to say “No” to veggie dip and ice cream and of course...cheese dip.

I didn’t want to have to give those things up.  I tried “portion control” and while I might not binge in the moment.  The choice I had made to have a small portion of something unhealthy led to more bad choices and a slippery slope that I could not manage.

What I just described has been my story since I was 10 years old.  

Weight gain.  Weight loss. Feeling good.  I deserve that cheese dip.  Shame.  Guilt.  Defeated.  Discouraged.  Done.  Weight gain.  Weight loss.  Feeling good.  I deserve that ice cream.  Shame.  Guilt.  Defeated.  Ice Cream.  Discouraged.  Cheetos.  Done.  Weight gain.  Weight loss.  Weight gain.  Weight Loss.  Are you exhausted?  Exactly.

Well, I finally got mad enough.  I finally knew I needed to get in touch with what was going on internally.  I had tried many, many times.  I had filled many a journal with my woes of discouragement and just plain frustration at the inability to say “No.”  I just could not stand up to my own justification and rationalization when it came to food...coffee creamer, sugar, cheese, candy, chips...the list goes on.  We all have a list.  That sacred list.  My list was long and sacred.  Don’t make me give up my list.

But I was so tired of the cycle.  At this point, I have to tell you that I am a person of faith.  And it is this faith, God’s strength and His grace and power that have gotten me to this point.  Because of His help, my best friend holding me accountable, and Nivada checking on me faithfully, I have lost 40 lbs.  It has taken me almost 2 years.  Well, really 32 years, if you count all the way back to the moonpie.

I am thankful beyond anything I could ever express to be on this side of that moonpie.  My journey and my mental adjustment is far from over.  Even tonight, I asked my husband to throw away the carton of ice cream in the freezer.  I am very aware that in a moment of weakness, celebration, or stress that exhausting cycle can begin again.

And so my choices have to be different this time.  I have to continue to make the sacrifices.  Some days it’s easy.  Other days it’s a mental battle that keeps me in a bit of a tailspin especially after a stressful day with students. (Can I get an “AMEN?!?!)

So far, I have just tried to live in each moment.  This journey has helped me rearrange my priorities.  Last week, we celebrated Max’s 5th birthday.  Ironically, he loves cheese dip.  Instead of gorging on cheese dip and spending my mental and emotional energy fighting off the shame and guilt of that choice, I got to look beyond the bowl and see what I do have in my life.  I was able to be present to see my two beautiful happy boys and my handsome and supportive husband who I love deeply.

Please don’t misunderstand.  There are moments that I’m present for in my life that I wish would go away...my happy boys wrestling each other in Publix….my supportive husband not cooperating with me when I know I’m right and he should know it too.  These moments happen.  And boy do I wish there was pimento cheese in the fridge.  But there’s not.  There are fizzy waters, but no cheese.  

It’s a one day at a time kind of journey with a lot of vegetables and protein.  

The work God is doing on the inside of me is hard, but I’m so thankful that He is undoing the bad and replacing it with good. Not just numbers on the scale going down kind of good...but the kind of good that matters long after those new, skinny clothes have gone out of style.

I’m excited to see what I will learn next...a little bit scared, but mostly excited.

This is a WIN!

I have been overweight since I was a teenager.  As a child, I would put on a little weight during the school year, but would always work it off during an active summer of bike riding, running, and swimming.  When I was 16 I started working in a grocery store where a 6 hour shift afforded you one fifteen minute break.  You learned to eat – quickly – whenever your break occurred, whether you were hungry or not.  Not one of life’s best habits.

As an adult, I’ve consistently put on weight while trying to offset that gain with diets.  You name it; I’ve tried it: Atkins; Mediterranean, Weight Watchers (multiple times), EatRight, Medifast, numerous exercise programs, Bariatrics Weight Loss Center, and my personal favorite – the HCG 500 calorie diet (you take a hormone that women produce when they’re pregnant to curb your appetite!).  Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of these options; different diets DO work for different people.  But none of them did for me.  I would lose weight, sometimes a good bit, but the fad nature of the diet would wear off and back the pounds would come.  I needed a permanent solution…a lifestyle change – not a diet.

Which left me in my mid-40s with one option left for consideration: bariatric weight loss surgery.  My aunt had successfully had gastric bypass 14 years ago and had been encouraging me to consider it for years.  But I didn’t want to do it.  It was too drastic..too extreme.  I felt lazy to consider this option, like I was admitting defeat.  Plus, there would be permanent sacrifices involved.  Was I willing to do that?  Sharon and I are social people who enjoy good food, good friends, and good times.

But as the pounds increased, health issues began to surface:  high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high triglycerides.  For the first time, I was having difficulty doing all that I wanted to do, energy-wise.  I began to realize that I was at a critical juncture; it was now or never.  Do something once and for all about my weight or watch my health deteriorate as I aged.  What I gradually realized was ANY way that I was to successfully lose weight AND KEEP IT OFF would require permanent sacrifices.  Weight loss surgery might just be the “IEP” I needed to make this happen for me!

My physician recommended Dr. Andrew Dewitt, associated with Princeton Baptist Medical Center and Princeton Bariatrics, an independent support system closely associated with him.  Sharon and I attended a Saturday seminar where Dr. Dewitt and health directors from the Bariatric Center educated us on the detrimental effects of obesity, the three surgical weight loss options, and what all of that entailed.  Included in this presentation were many statistics outlining the dramatic success of gastric procedures in comparison to dieting.  Most significant to me were the high percentages of gastric surgery participants who maintained their weight loss over time.  After my own research and an appointment with Dr. Dewitt, I decided to pursue the “sleeve gastrectomy”, the newest of the 3 procedures, where the surgeon removes 85% or so of your stomach leaving a banana-like sleeve which GREATLY limits the amount of food one can intake and digest.

You need to know that making the decision ended up being the easiest part.  My decision was not met with uniform approval by my family and friends.  Many thought the surgery was not necessary and that I was putting myself at undue risk.  Many thought as I previously had, that all I needed to do was buckle down and lose the weight the hard way.  Without really verbalizing it, I could tell that others doubted my commitment to keeping the weight off once I had the procedure.  Additionally, there were MANY hoops through which to jump in order for my insurance to cover the procedure.  My obesity and “life morbidities” (lovely term for my developing health issues) qualified me for the surgery.  However, I had to see my primary physician for seven consecutive months to ensure that I could not lose weight on my own under a doctor’s care.  I had to have a psychological and cardio consult.  The Bariatric Center required me to attend some classes to ensure my understanding of what I was getting myself into and how I would transition following the surgery.

So what would I give up to have the gastric sleeve?  No sugar (maybe a bite of Sharon’s cake a couple times a year), no carbonated beverages, no fried and greasy foods, and limited amounts of alcohol.  As I reflected on these sacrifices, it occurred to me that if I was going to lose a substantial amount of weight and keep it off, I would need to give up these things anyway.  I certainly hadn’t been successful with compromising my diet in the past.  So the sacrifices became increasingly small to me in comparison to everything that I knew I would gain: improved health and wellness, more energy, increased confidence, and a longer life-span.

Finally after 9 months of hoop-jumping, I had the surgery on March 20^th at Princeton.  To date (it’s May 10^th), I have lost 62 lbs and have finished transitioning from liquids to mushy foods to more mainstream foods.  I have been amazed with how easy this has been.  I have yet to be hungry.  I have yet to make myself nauseated by eating too much.  I have yet to feel deprived of a food that I should not eat.  I do really keep up with my protein intake to make sure I am getting enough.  I do take all the necessary vitamins.  I have worked out with a personal trainer since December to help turn my fat and flab into muscle. And I have now worked up to my normal meal amount of one cup of food per meal:  ½ cup of protein, ¼ cup of starch, and a ¼ cup of vegetables.  And that is MORE than enough for me; I often do not finish an entire plate.

While others do have some setbacks with gastric surgery, my experience has been so much easier than I ever expected.  That’s why I am sharing this personal information – to encourage those of you who have had similar lifetime struggles with your weight to consider gastric surgery as a viable option.  While I am partial to my Princeton folks, I would imagine there are other good surgeons in town.  Do the research.  Talk with folks like me.  Ask your doctor about it.  Deciding to have gastric surgery is a deeply personal decision that requires the upmost commitment on your part.  Whatever you decide, I wish you well on your own journey to better health and wellness.

Princeton Bariatrics: http://princetonbariatrics.com/

Dr. Andrew DeWitt: http://princetonbariatrics.com/surgeons/dr-andrew-dewitt/